Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I thought it would all be perfect...

Well I'm back after a long while without blogging! I think this will be my new thereapy. Well since my last post I have graduated high school, started a job, and started Beauty school. Life got away from me, I guess you could say. When school started up again, friends left and started the next chapter of their lives. I did too, but it was different because I've stayed at home. I struggled alot with my identity, something I was always firm in growing up. I've questioned who I am so many times...wondering if I'm really doing the right thing for me. Wondering "Is this even me?" I finally came to the conclusion that this is who I want to be. I want to be that person that is steadfast and constantly reliable. But I want to do that without being a doormat, without losing sight of my goals and ambitions. I need to do what's right for me and only me if I want to succeed. I need to love myself and all of myself and embrace my flaws and my perfections. I need to love others the way my Heavenly Father loves them....which is not always easy to do. I need to know what's right and wrong in my own life. I need to find God again. I thought I could do it all on my own.
I just realized this. If I think I can do it all on my own, that's all I have. Myself. But when I let God in, and humble myself, He's always there. And maybe he was there all along but I didn't see him because I didn't look beside me. I didn't look in my hand to see that he was holding it all along...

1 comment:

Ali Miller said...

oh - he's there my friend, he IS there - and it's so fun to see you progress into an amazing woman! ENJOY EVERY DAY, CHOOSE TO SMILE (especially when you want to cry), AND NEVER FORGET TO TALK TO HF!! I hope you keep bloggin' - it's really fun for me to see you grow! I know, a little creepy - but it's cuz u da bomb!:D