Am I living up to my full potential?

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.-Erma Brombeck

How wonderfully fulfilling that would be, to know that you had done everything to the best of your ability? That you shared your strengths and talents every chance you got. You developed the things you were struggling with and truly knew the meeting of humility. I try my hardest everyday to think about what I could be doing better, what can I do to help someone else today? It's so weird to be in your own little bubble, listening to the soundtrack of your life in your head when someone stops you and says "Thanks. You don't know how much that meant to me." When honestly I don't even know what I did! Sometimes I feel invisible. Like I can see everyone, and forget that I'm being watched. I'm being watched all the time, even when I don't really want to be. People look to see what the "mormon girl" does. It really does make me laugh because, I make so many mistakes!!! I'm not perfect by any means but it's funny to see girls at school reactions when I don't wanna get wasted over the weekend....
I sure hope that to someone I'm an example, a friend to those who need it, and a shoulder to cry on. I know life isn't always easy, but it's sure easier to deal with when someone is beside you knowing exactly what you feel like.

I thought it would all be perfect...

Well I'm back after a long while without blogging! I think this will be my new thereapy. Well since my last post I have graduated high school, started a job, and started Beauty school. Life got away from me, I guess you could say. When school started up again, friends left and started the next chapter of their lives. I did too, but it was different because I've stayed at home. I struggled alot with my identity, something I was always firm in growing up. I've questioned who I am so many times...wondering if I'm really doing the right thing for me. Wondering "Is this even me?" I finally came to the conclusion that this is who I want to be. I want to be that person that is steadfast and constantly reliable. But I want to do that without being a doormat, without losing sight of my goals and ambitions. I need to do what's right for me and only me if I want to succeed. I need to love myself and all of myself and embrace my flaws and my perfections. I need to love others the way my Heavenly Father loves them....which is not always easy to do. I need to know what's right and wrong in my own life. I need to find God again. I thought I could do it all on my own.
I just realized this. If I think I can do it all on my own, that's all I have. Myself. But when I let God in, and humble myself, He's always there. And maybe he was there all along but I didn't see him because I didn't look beside me. I didn't look in my hand to see that he was holding it all along...

FREAKING OUT!!!

Okay...well there are a few reasons that I'm freaking out. Let's start from the begining! I picked up my cap and gown last week!!!! I can hardly believe it that exactly a month from today I will have graduated high school! I also can't believe that I am auditioning to speak at graduation.... who talked me into that one????

It's just all going to fast, and while I want it to be over there are some aspects of my life that I don't want to ever leave me! I love all of my friends and wish the best for them. I want the social part of high school to be with me always, but I know that it can't be. I want all play and no work! ;) But I know that my life, in alot of ways is just begining....and while I'm excited, I'm just a little bit nervous for whatever life it "all about".

Oh and I'm donating plasma in like an hour!!! AHHHHHHHHH.....

So I totally turned 18...

Yes it's true...I'm officially an adult. But what does that entail? I'm kind of nervous to be just an adult so suddenly! I'm also kind of excited because it's another chapter in my life that I want leap into without knowing what will happen next. I want to be the best person I can...and I know that with help in ALL directions I truly can be :)